Sunday, November 8, 2009

Your Journey is Not Your Own

This is becoming increasingly clear to me as I walk through this adoption journey. Over and over I sense the Lord saying to me, "I know you are hurting and I hurt with you, but this is not just about you. I am at work in many ways that you cannot even begin to see or understand. Trust me."
This weekend I was at a retreat with my church up in the Rockies, not far from Winter Park, Colorado - it was BEAUTIFUL! And what a blessing. Even though it was a very tough week and I am still raw from another disappointment on this long road to motherhood, I felt I needed to go on the retreat. I am so grateful that I did. I am still processing all that happened, and will post more in the days to come, but wanted to share about my communion experience this morning.
Each year at our retreat on Sunday morning we have a "Quaker" type of communion where people kneel on pillows when ready to receive communion and then as others feel led to give you communion they come and kneel around you, give communion and then lay hands on you and pray over you. It is always an emotional, and powerful time. Today did not disappoint. When I knelt to receive communion I was surrounded by friends and those who love me. The prayer was so encouraging and powerful. There really wasn't a dry eye in the room as people prayed for Hannah to come home and for God to bring peace to my heart. I was so touched by how tearful and earnest everyone was in approaching God on my and Hannah's behalf. I was also completely surprised by how my journey has impacted others around me - my painful walk of faith has somehow been inspiring to those around me. Once again I sensed God saying to me, "this journey isn't only about you - I am using your walk in other people's lives"

1 comment:

  1. I definitely agree! Epecially with Kyrgyzstan I have felt that the journey is not about a single child or family but about a very big and detailed picture. I am glad you are surrounded by such loving support! I hope you continue to heal. Thank you for sharing your journey! I will be checking in.
    Hugs to you!